Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Pregnant lady vs 5 year old boy
A five years old boy walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.
He inquisitively asks the lady
"Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby".
With big eyes, he asked "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said "He sure is!"
Then the little boy with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said "Oh, yes it's a real good baby".
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked "Then why did you swallow him?"
What will you say if u were asked?
Akpors Trial in Court
Akpos in his first trial as a lawyer in a murder trial, he was the defence attorney and was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"aha!!"
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you? Tell me my good sir why didn't you check? Perhaps, you slicing him open might be the cause for his demise, for all we care he might have still been alive. Perhaps you refrigerating him might have been the source of his death. Perhaps"....
The coroner just answered in a low tone:
"Well, perhaps the man's brain was in a jar on my desk".
(weak)No further questions
Johnny and Teacher
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher called him to answer a question:
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you, if there were three women with ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Who is smarter?
Akpors Joke
AKPOS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- tell me properly!
AKPOS:- Michael Peter
OFFICER:- your father’s name?
AKPOS:- M.P
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
AKPOS:- Moses Peter
OFFICER:- your native place?
AKPOS: M.P
OFFICER:- is it Makurdi Purum?
AKPOS:- No, Minna Port
OFFICER:- what is your qualification?
AKPOS:- M.P
OFFICER:- (angry) what is it?
AKPOS:- Metric Pass
OFFICER:- so why do you need a job?
AKPOS:- M.P
OFFICER: meaning?
AKPOS:- Money Problem
OFFICER:- what is your personality?
AKPOS:- M.P
OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time?
AKPOS:- Monacrotic Personality
OFFICER:- I see… I will get back to you.
AKPOS::- sir, how’s my M.P?
OFFICER:- and what’s that again?
AKPOS:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- M.P!
AKPOS:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!
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